Dear diary, say cheese!
Henrietta tells me that keeping my thoughts in a journal is the only way to keep my sinning mind from reaching God. My way of repenting, I suppose. The messiah is upon us, I feel watched at all times. Atleast here, between you and me, I can be myself
I have a handful of traumas and issues ridding my head of sense, I'll write about those for sure. Sensitive things, I must say. Turn your head away less you'd like to see horrors! But aside from that, I have hobbies and interests as well. Perhaps I'll write about those next...
things i blog about:
- Personal vents
- Hobbies
- Fandom stuff
- Whatever
Dear diary, he's so wonderful...
I'm pathetic, I know. Here I am, digging into a hole that I might not ever come out of. And maybe I'd like that. He's a wonderful presance, he's amazing to play with and talk to. I'll be the first to admit, I've been a bit iffy about loving him fully, whenever I love I tend to... Love a lot. DMs all the time, art, etc... And I feel like this could weird him out. But I've been meaning to do it for a long time, I want him to see me fully. I love him so much and I think he deserves to see that
I'm really scared, but it'll only hurt me in the long run if I don't let it out :3
Dear diary, I think I was born to meet you!
He reminds me of penguins, of stripes like a lemur's tail! He reminds me of my own kitten, it's really sweet. I use that word to describe him a lot, theres no better way to. I know I haven't known him long, but I don't care. I wanna explore him, like under a microscope. It's funny, I've never felt this way about anyone else! It's silly, isn't it? I didn't feel like this about my EX, nope, not even once! Then again, that stinky perv wouldn't deserve this kinda love! It's too much, too sweet, like candy. I feel tender, I feel soft, and I'm happy that it's HIM I feel this way towards!
The feeling is so strong it's like I was BORN to meet him! Like everything I've ever done has been to meet him, it's so amazing I wanna drown in it! It's like a real happiness, something true and there. I thought it was just a phase, but this is more. It'll always be more. This is everything I want, everything that media told me was love, this is really it. He reminds me of Shinji, which is funny because Parasyte already reminds me of Shinji! But I don't feel like this towards Parasyte, not at ALL! It's totally different between me and him! Sometimes I thimk about kissing his cheek and trailing my kisses to his nose, I wanna smother him in them! I wanna make music with him, this feeling is a melody and he's the tune I wanna sing to it! It's amazing, really REALLY amazing! Now I understand Gendo, I understand why he would do what he did for Yui! I would do the same if that happened to him! God, I love him so much!!! It's so funny that he doesn't even know I feel this way, I don't even think he has a SINGLE clue! It's... Sad. But really funny! He has such a big impact on me, yet I'm probably just another fish in a tank to him! Haha! 
Dear diary, fluff.
I'm in love! I've been in love for a while now... He's sweet, simple, kind and fun! I love being with him, hearing his voice, texting him, the videos he sends me, I love it all! I feel like he doesn't get me, he obvs doesn't love me back, but I don't care! He's sweet, and that's all that matters to me. He's a comforting thought to me, I think about him and feel better! This has GOT to be love, diary!
I wanna kiss him all over in an innocent way, wanna hear him giggle and laugh and keep being sweet to me! I know that he has his own personal problems, I see glimpses of it every now and then, I wanna kiss it all better! Make sure he knows he's not alone, I love him! I'd do anything for him, I love my little bug!
Love u, E!!! PS, if you read this... hehe, well, i'd like to know how u feel about me back...hehe! 
Dear diary, I want to remember
I'm pathetic, I know. I won't delete anything I make here, I want to look back on my feelings in the future and see how bad it hurt. Maybe I'll be better when I'm older, this'll be proof of me getting better!
My suffering deserves to be in the wires that traumatized it in the first place, I want everyone to be able to see past my happy facade and see who I really am in all my misery. In a bittersweet way!
